This will hopefully be the first blog in a series of blogs about learning to love myself/oneself. I read a blog post today by a classmate about a TED talk video that focused on introversion. It caught my attention immediately because I am an introvert. Watch the TED talk please because it’s great even if you don’t consider yourself a introvert.
When I was a kid I was painfully shy. I hated meeting new people and being in crowds. I would hide behind my mom and simply refuse to talk to people. I seriously thought something was wrong with me until I started a board on Pinterest called This is me and started figuring out that in addition to being shy I was also an introvert and I wasn’t alone. All my friends in school were extroverts so I always felt left out when I said I’d rather stay at home and read then hang out. I seriously thought I was just weird and anti-social. I didn’t understand the concept of me time and that being social tired me out mentally. I thought I needed to be more social and out going and it was making me seriously depressed. Pinterest isn’t just for recipes, fitness and planning the perfect wedding, it helped me learn to love my introverted self. It helped me to realize I am not the only one that would prefer to stay at home in a blanket fort and watch Netflix until 1:00 in the morning or reading a really good book (I have done both :).
This doesn’t mean I don’t like to socialize because I do but I would rather socialize with a small group of really good friends than a large group of people I don’t know. Socializing for me is all about personal connections and getting to know other people really well. My ideal conversation would focus on deep life issues or a book rather than boys, who posted what to Facebook or the latest gossip.
For the past two summers I have worked at an amazing camp in Western NE. The first summer I was there, I worked with two guy counselors who were the craziest extroverts I ever met (they were also best friends, which made it all the more crazier :). I was exhausted at the end of every day from hanging out with them because they didn’t understand the concept of alone time. They had to be doing something all the time or get sad whereas I would rather be alone and have a little fun time or I get sad. That summer taught me that I love to socialize but I need alone time as well or I become crabby and sad.
It’s been a crazy journey learning to love me as I am, introverted and all. I most certainly have had my fair share of sob moments and comfort food. I thought my only regret would be that I hadn’t figured that being an introvert was ok sooner, but one of my favorite quotes is “The Journey is the Destination”. Learning that I was an introvert was the ultimate result. If I hadn’t taken the time to learn to love me I might not have liked the immediate me. Instead of learning to accept who I was and stop trying to change I might have continued to try and change myself. I love that I am introvert, and the fact I can watch five seasons of Netflix and not feel sad that I didn’t actually do something with my time. Ok, maybe that is a little weird, but the point is I like being alone and that doesn’t make me weird, that makes me, me. God created me to be an introvert with a wild side and I love me.
I had to share this because this describes me every time I finish a series on Netflix or I finish the most current season.